Overprotective Parents
We've decided to homeschool, and my relatives aren't happy about it. They say I'm just trying to shelter my kids from real life, and that it isn't good for them. Am I being too overprotective?
Why do people think it’s a bad thing for parents to shelter or protect their children? That’s actually a very important part of a parent’s responsibility! People seem to understand protection when you buckle your baby in a car seat, or bundle her up on a cold day. But for some reason they seem to think that kids don't need their parents' protection any more once they turn five.
First of all, you can remind your relatives that school isn't much like "real life." Homeschoolers experience much more of life than spending 180 days a year in the same room with the same 20 age-mates and the same primary teacher. Real life is older people and younger people, earning money and spending money, helping people and helping yourself, doing many different long and short-term projects alone and with many different people, learning every day and everywhere. So by homeschooling you are in fact letting your children experience real life, rather than sheltering them from it.
Defining sheltering, or over-protecting, is basically a case of drawing the line. People who draw the line farther out than you will think you are too protective. As in most of life, there is more than one right answer, more shades than simply black and white. One person may criticize you for strictly limiting your child's television watching, saying there are many good shows on and most of the bad stuff goes right over their heads anyway. At the same time, another person may criticize you for letting your child watch any TV at all, insisting that it's all disgusting junk and totally unsuitable for children. So are you unnecessarily sheltering your child, or corrupting him? It's a matter of opinion, of where you draw the line.
Sometimes parents do want to shelter their children for a while from certain aspects of life. Yes, children have to learn about violence and racism and unfairness and bullies and other bad things. But, there are many different ways to learn about these things and they don't have to experience it all first hand before they turn seven. Parents may prefer to present certain things to their child in their own way, at their own time, rather than having a teacher or classmate bring up the subject.
Finally, even if you are a bit over-protective, there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it's hard to know which is the best choice, but if we're going to err it's better to err on the side of caution.
It's your job to protect your children from the dangers you can, and help them learn to deal with those you can't protect them from.
Copyright © 2007 by Barbara Klapperich Senn